there's something intriguing about parents who force their children into med school. at least it's what i observe from my parents (or any of your parents, presumably (no?)). and trying to find what was up with them when they came up with that idea is, i thought, quite easy. hence the guess. a hypothesis zero.
let's face it, i don't know very much who started the rumours, which and when, doctors have pretty good salary despite helping or not helping people get thru sicknesses. pretty good. the salary is damn huge they can buy every useful medicines for themselves, stuck 'em in their pretty beach houses and their pretty pants and their pretty cars. but i think salary is not my parents' motive for forcing their children into med school (which i'm so glad i can deny after a quite sweaty debate on my failing of getting into some prestigious med school in the country, but unfortunately my first brother went straight to that definition-of-success way). no. they once told us the kids that money shudnt be everybody's goal and that it's bad to put money after everything and that it's good because you're simply doing good cause.
so, no. money can't be our hypothesis zero.
or maybe, it's because in their era, doctor might be the most honorable profession that earth provided, given the hunger, the infection, the virus, and everything. and they study the meds that supposedly can cure them all. but doctors often can't. and at this point i don't really know what to believe except that this profession was just an excuse to balance the evils in diseases. to make an order. human likes it. but i so thought that this might be the motive of them all, the unbreakable one, the reason of every reasons.
but then i got sick. since new year, it's been three days that i've had this feverish shiver and this aches all over my spines and all over my head, too. i'm feeling sick i can't let my eyes lay on too long on some near screens (like i really have to take that long and awful pain to write this). i drink gallons of water and i pee gallons of water and still at some point of the day i shudder real hard it's like my body has created a certain temperature around itself and it is my soul not getting ready and i shiver the hell outta me.
my mom never took me to the hospital. she said it's the same old illness, you drink a tablet of paracetamol and you're good to go.
and that what makes me doubt my own hypothesis zero. my parents don't even believe (!!!!) the institution (the hospital, the lab (I MEAN THE LAB!), or the doctors). i just wanna get my blood checked so i at least know what incident took place inside me. i mean, it is good that they don't wanna be fooled by that mental institution, i myself don't want to. but.. i mean.. lab checking is valid and as healthy as can be.
so i don't know now, i guess the hypothesises all vanished. i guess aliens planted chips of doctor ideas inside their brains (or every parents' brain) because they need everybody to want to become doctors so that they can sell highly overpriced drugs that really don't heal anything so they can make like giant intergalactic spacestation for their kinds so that they can invade earth (that is now filled with doctors and parents) and take gold and they build new planet with dinos on it.
i don't know. it does make a lot more sense.
i just hope i could get healthy real soon.
and my brother, too. because he's sick too and he's going to intern at some hospital the day after tomorrow and it's because he's crying too much when he's sick because he said he's exhausted (that's right, he's graduated from med school bout a year ago and he cries a lot when he's sick, god, idk what they teach in med school).
and i know this rambles only makes me like the jerk who loves to idealize and idolize things and makes me the most unrealistic person in the world but i'm just so angry at the way the world goes and maybe it's because television did me no good these past three days because they air rubbish and stuff that stinks.
i don't know.
things get pretty blurry nowadays.
a happiest new year to you.
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